Titles and status is really the devils of all egos.

Titles and status is really the devils of all egos.

I recently gotten my titles;CC(after completing 10 speeches) and CL(Competent Leadership). After I’ve gotten my titles, I’ve stop giving new speeches or even plan to write a new speech. I’m afraid to fail, fail at my speeches. (Egoism)

Today I was badly defeated by the talented and better speakers in my club in the humorous speech and evaluation contest.(Is hard to accept defeats, but I think this time I handle it quite well.)This is mainly due to my laziness and my egoism.

I used my old speech “Clubbing” with the hope of getting a placing, I gave that speech before as I have no intention to write any new humorous speech.  I’ve limited myself in believing that is(clubbing) the best humorous speech that I have(Actually that is the only humorous speech I’ve done). Egoism had me again, afraid of feedbacks like “I like your clubbing speech better”.

When I decided to join the contest, it was out of fun and experience(of course want to win 1st place lar) but this time I’m not so enthusiastic compare to when I competing in the International speech contest at February 2007. (excuses to comfort my failure)

                                  

I often have the kind of feelings that if I present the same speech again, the enthusiasm and the excitement(of the speech) will not be the same way as the 1st time I presented.

If my speech didn’t receive good response from the audiences(1st time), I will find ways to improve it but if it was the other way(received good feedbacks), I will hesitate to change the speech, I want to keep the gist of it. Unfortunately my “clubbing” speech belongs to the latter. I hesitated to change my approach towards the subject. I refused to make a new speech. I want to stay in my comfort zone, to play safe.

So as a result, my defeats is not a surprise. This defeats is good for me because I need to start on my speeches again. I’ve stopped giving speeches for 2 months plus. After completing the CC title. I don’t feel like doing anymore speeches as I feel like I’ve reached another level(Cheh).

Now is good, defeats can brings me back to the start. Where I need to relearn the techniques of giving speeches. It reminded me that I need to back to my drawing board.

If titles builds egoism then defeats builds humble-ism. I want to go back to the drawing boards and relearn the techniques and be humble again.

I’ve no talents in speaking but I am willing to learn and improve. I’ve few things which I really work my ass out if I really want to be respected in toastmastery.

1. I need to improve on my grammar and my prepositions.
2. speech organization.
   
3. Improve my diction.